I'll admit it, this first week has been pretty tough and eye-opening. Everything hit me all at once... I don't know very many people, I certainly don't speak the language, I'm living in someone else's house, I don't know my way around, and EVERYTHING is new and different. I've been missing my family a lot this past week because they're all in Oregon together celebrating my Grampa Al. We don't get to see each other all at the same time very often and I was missing out on that. I felt very lost and alone. I had these constant sufficating thoughts of self doubt. Why on Earth would I leave everything I've ever known?? I mean, to be perfectly honest, it wasn't like there was anything wrong with my life... I'm not running from anything. My life was pretty awesome actually, I had a kick ass apartment practically across the street from the space needle, a great roommate, my friends, parents, and siblings were close by, there was a lot to do, and I had a lot of fun! Sure, my job wasn't the highlight of my day, but it allowed me to be an independant woman; I could easily provide for and take care of myself. So why should I move? Once I got here, all this started hitting me really, really hard. I've never felt so alone in my life!
THEN! Yesterday, I had lunch with a girl named Melissa... What a gem! She put my soul at ease and shooed away all my worrisome thoughts. Melissa is a friend of a friend of a friend (if that makes sense?)... And it just so happens that she literally has the exact same story I do (almost)... She's from Seattle and moved here after working for the same company I was working for for way too long... We both just kinda needed a change from the mundane and a challenge! She's been here for over a year now and is studying at the culinary school, nannying, and teaching English lessons. She's gone through everything I've been talking about and could totally relate. She assured me that everything would be ok and encouraged me to stick it out (not that I was planning on leaving yet). I just need to stay focused on why I came here -- to refocus myself on what I find important in life. She took me to a local, family owned and operated restaurant -- she's one of the regulars and we were greeted with big smiles and hello's! She told me that when she first moved here she went to this place multiple times a week to watch them cook in the mornings. The food was awesome... we both had tortallini in a meat sauce, and shared a salad and a beef stew. I was stuffed! Melissa is an absolute SAINT! I am incredibly blessed to have met her!
UPDATE: My Italian class starts on the 14th of February and I've been talking to Alessandra about good places for me to volunteer at. I'll let you know when I know more!
I love you and miss you all!
b.
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